tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post5686507251324608278..comments2023-09-04T02:49:40.115-07:00Comments on Justin Bond is Living: Alright! It's Cancer! You WIN!!!Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16286922935673549630noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-46372196034420004162008-12-23T12:05:00.000-08:002008-12-23T12:05:00.000-08:00I am a non-monogamous heterosexual. I believe that...I am a non-monogamous heterosexual. <BR/><BR/>I believe that the government needs to get out of the marriage/civil union business altogether and get out of everyone's bedroom, straight and gay. I don't think it's the government's place to regulate, legislate, or promote any form of intimate relationship.<BR/><BR/>For those who would say "what about the benefits that come with marriage", I'd say that such benefits need to be granted on the basis of sharing a household together on a long term basis and not a sexual relationship, gay or straight, monogamous or non-monogamous.<BR/><BR/>That is, there are other family groupings who could use such benefits as much as those in sex/romance based relationships. Adult children living with elderly parents, parents living with disabled adult children, single parent siblings sharing a home, grandparents raising grandchildren, to cite a few examples.<BR/><BR/>Such benefits would be granted under a Domestic Partnership that would be based on sharing a household and the type of sexual relationship, if any at all, that existed between those involved would be entirely irrelevant and moot to the terms of the Domestic Partnerhips. Marriage would then be a private matter between those involved, as it should be.<BR/><BR/>I can't speak for others, but the idea of registering my intimate relationships with the government in the same way I register my car just doesn't get it for me.Libertinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654747078996932165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-70051927389662538962008-12-22T23:45:00.000-08:002008-12-22T23:45:00.000-08:00TESTIFY!!TESTIFY!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01217151513382012081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-41135123844129351792008-12-14T17:32:00.000-08:002008-12-14T17:32:00.000-08:00oops! sigLNYoops! sigLNYUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939402762146608296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-26070020264022997072008-12-14T17:31:00.000-08:002008-12-14T17:31:00.000-08:00Thank you sigNLY!Thank you sigNLY!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939402762146608296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-38173368069780696432008-12-13T02:03:00.000-08:002008-12-13T02:03:00.000-08:00thanks, Justin! loving your blog!xoHollythanks, Justin! loving your blog!<BR/><BR/>xo<BR/>HollyUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13951007241038048324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-62032760849185308522008-12-11T12:30:00.000-08:002008-12-11T12:30:00.000-08:00Great post. Of course I agree with everything you ...Great post. Of course I agree with everything you say except I think we need to recognize that marriage as a civil institution (not to mention a religious one) is not going anywhere. Period. Civil marriage is a cornerstone of Western Civilization for the vast majority of the population, even perhaps the gay population. For better or worse, it's pretty much here to stay. Which is not SO bad as long as we can make sure that it's not a bigoted, racist or homophobic institution. Gays should fight for marriage because that is the reality of the politics in the current cultural climate. Denying us civil marriage is the most piquant way that the mainstream marginalizes the dignity and equality of gay people. Should marriage be a civil institution in principle? Probably not. But, given that marriage is a fact of life, we need to demand our rights!Matt Siglhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18192264713975819929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-71142307688195999362008-12-09T16:26:00.000-08:002008-12-09T16:26:00.000-08:00to agree entirely with ladyJ, except for the part ...to agree entirely with ladyJ, except for the part about being transgender. I'm still a guy. For the sake of argument, I have nothing against trans-gender folk. I watched Veronica transform and it has been a wondrous thing. But I digress.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939402762146608296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-37490125931662129782008-12-08T17:06:00.000-08:002008-12-08T17:06:00.000-08:00Those interested in the subject might check out De...Those interested in the subject might check out Dean Spadeand Craig Willse's very concise and powerful statement "I Still Think Marriage is the Wrong Goal" and the ensuing discussion on the group's facebook page: <BR/>http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=39392496765<BR/><BR/>Also, the roman catholic church originally refused to officiate marriage ceremonies, which were originally legal codifications of the right of men/patriarchs to own their women, which law lies beneath the right to own African American slaves later in history. There is a long and varied debate in radical and lesbian feminists circles against marriage that is so little drawn upon in the "gay marriage' debate that it makes me very sad. <BR/><BR/>xox, ritalfonsoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-65885673931951456132008-12-08T10:04:00.000-08:002008-12-08T10:04:00.000-08:00i've got a cancer pimple, too! and that's one of t...i've got a cancer pimple, too! and that's one of the little things that gives me hope in marriage. i don't believe we can really understand the importance of a legal bind with someone until we're rotting away and need that health care that our partner is working so hard for. or the matter of protecting our rights when our partners die. i don't believe marriage is so much a young-love thing, as that's really a recent trait of the tradition. i'm more for an economic/social support structure of two beings helping each other out... i know that might sound conservative, but just because i'm a transgendered queer-loving godless-witchcraft-practicing artist doesn't mean i'm a die-hard liberal ;O<BR/>i agree with mike when he says we should take the church out marriage, as they weren't there for it in the beginning. and not all marriages were set up to enslave women! i encourage a wikipedia reading on the history of marriage. there you'll find that the church has been involved in marriage for a very short time, given the long history of this social (not religious) act.<BR/>give the church 'civil union blessings' that have no legal powers and let the people keep 'marriage' as we have (for nearly 4000 years!).<BR/>-jonnahourladyjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16586006724340726008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-25270833464270731902008-12-07T15:20:00.000-08:002008-12-07T15:20:00.000-08:00Bravo! Justin. While I am one of those "married" ...Bravo! Justin. While I am one of those "married" gays, I agree with you completely. As one who walked away from the catholic church at the earliest possible opportunity, I believe that civil unions across the board are the answer. Let those who "believe" have their stupid little word. I am not one who seeks nor even cares about acceptance. I am also not one to stand idly by while my birth rights are stripped away. This entire issue has never been about religion for me. Afterall, the church doesn't offer any legal rights. I just feel my husband and I are entitled to the same protection and guarantees afforded to any two drunks that can go to a chapel in Las Vegas and get hitched. I lost a lover to AIDS in 1988, thankfully his family was supportive and didn't pull any shit. Frankly, there are some in my husbands family that I can see trying to just come in and take whatever they want. <BR/>We need to focus on the tax-exemption issue as it relates to separation of church and state. One way to start would be to remove the word god from all currency. Anyway, I love your blog and look forward to each new one. Now I'm going to check out your website. Take Care NicUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939402762146608296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-63154901269444235372008-12-07T15:09:00.000-08:002008-12-07T15:09:00.000-08:00justin:an excellent tirade i must say. and note -...justin:<BR/><BR/>an excellent tirade i must say. <BR/><BR/>and note -- i am not registering my belleek pattern anywhere nor do i even have a make-believe suitor that i can pretend to be coming to sweep me off my feel a la helen reddy in "delta dawn." <BR/><BR/>(i prefer her version to tanya tucker's any day...)<BR/><BR/>but i digress...<BR/><BR/>but given that the state-sanctioned contract (marriage) gives the couple specific benefits and rights and privileges, i think that denying two adults access to this partnership agreement solely because of their gender is criminal.<BR/><BR/>it's time we took churches OUT of the marriage business -- they are not really IN it for real -- i mean, if you want to divorce your spouse, you do not go to a church to do it, you go to court. the marriage license is a secular, civil document/contract.<BR/><BR/>the marriage license is no more a religious document than am i a good singer. we need to stop allowing religious institutions a free ride when the co-opt and lie about the true nature of marriage.<BR/><BR/>that being said, i really really really thought your post was pretty awesome.<BR/><BR/>hope you are well.<BR/><BR/>mike shriverdadanationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04646347036396809908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-43247724392804071932008-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:002008-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:00Hi Holly. Thanks for pointing that out. My "TC" ...Hi Holly. Thanks for pointing that out. My "TC" and I were discussing that aspect of marriage before I posted the blog and I almost included it. But for the sake of brevity and in order to make my argument more concise I left it out.<BR/><BR/>I'm very glad you brought it up. And let's face it that sort of thing is still happening all over the world.... the oppression and violence caused by the institution of matrimony is still an all-too-real ordeal for many, many women.Justinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16286922935673549630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-90827776556998347772008-12-07T13:05:00.000-08:002008-12-07T13:05:00.000-08:00Love this! Such good suggestions! Only - the ori...Love this! Such good suggestions! <BR/><BR/>Only - the origin of marriage isn't a loving union between two souls, it's a legal form of slavery: ie, a woman was sold to a man by her family. He'd take her off their hands, and they'd provide a dowry as an incentive to buy. Down to its roots, marriage has been an oppressive, commercial, legal institution, and your suggestion to make it a purely religious matter is delightful. Everyone else can be legal partners - a fresh new take on monogamy that isn't perverted by a history of oppression and violence!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13951007241038048324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-77595428321590919212008-12-07T07:25:00.000-08:002008-12-07T07:25:00.000-08:00Right on .Miss US Liberty is likefaye Dunaway in ...Right on .<BR/>Miss US Liberty is like<BR/>faye Dunaway in Chinatown:"shes my sister and my daughter!"<BR/>But its church OR state. if you want it both ways , then prepare to meet that incestuous monster played by john Huston. he was probably a member of the church of latter day saints too.<BR/> Americans are still muddled in their democratic process."e pluribus unum" and "in God we trust".<BR/> But first comes democracy ( the horse), then gays rights (the cart), and not the other way around.<BR/> Countries that are established firmly on a democracy defined as the separation of church and state have been the most globally successful with gay legislation. Specifically, skandinavia, netherlands, Germany, france,UK, and also Spain and Italy have all guaranteed equal rights to gays and lesbians because God and State have nothing to do with each other. <BR/> The LGBT community should therefore focus more on this separation as the true guarantee of our legal rights. As Americans, we have sadly slipped away from being the models of democracy to becoming its buffoon. We still harbor illusions about religion as something socially advanced while a cursory survey around the world clearly demonstrates how the most desperate and poorly functioning societies remain the most religious.And the most prosperous with the best quality of life remain the least. As gays and as americans, we need to choose between church and state, and we need to recognize how the best quality of life exists only in a secular democratic society. That means in God we dont trust. Warren Buffett expresses a wonderful atheism in his business philosophy: " i dont invest in anything i dont know about". So lets not bank or invest in God: for marriage or for anything.zantedoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07368838272058034171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-90112562461650479772008-12-07T06:08:00.000-08:002008-12-07T06:08:00.000-08:00I like seeing the tag line "Don't like gay marriag...I like seeing the tag line "Don't like gay marriage? Then don't get one and shut the fuck up!" BUT, this is the best piece I have seen about the issue, in every way.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05545870221394498493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-90155560424057494562008-12-07T02:10:00.000-08:002008-12-07T02:10:00.000-08:00It may have been a rant but it was worth saying.I ...It may have been a rant but it was worth saying.<BR/><BR/>I am like you still scratching my head about the drive for gay people to mainstream gungho. Also the issue has proven to be very divisive in terms of race and economic status.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6698311030649071572.post-12925248913021012072008-12-07T00:33:00.000-08:002008-12-07T00:33:00.000-08:00yes. yes. yes.what's the deal with marriage? who n...yes. yes. yes.<BR/><BR/>what's the deal with marriage? who needs it? i just plant my flag in my man and call him mine and that's it. sure, i want some rights and shit, like the heteros have, but groom/groom, and all that wedding planner b.s.? nope. and frankly, i DONT want to totally assimilate. if it was up to me we'd still be wearing pinky rings and green carnations.<BR/><BR/>xoxo<BR/>pattyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com